So tired

In many ways, being at the hospital was easier than being at home.  We had excellent nurses taking care of our son 24/7.  Even though I had to pump every three hours and clean the parts, nurses were feeding him the bottles in the middle of the night so I got some rest.  Last night, Hayes helped me with the bottles, diapers, and burping, while I pumped.  Ripley also was snacking instead of taking full feeds, wanted to be held a lot, and kept waking up shortly after we put him down in his crib.  He had maybe one stretch when he slept for almost two hours in the crib alone.  

We both were very tired and Hayes especially was grumpy because he is not used to helping during the night.  I feel like Ripley is kind of a different baby now.  He has gas pains, general physical pain, and seems needier for comfort and warm touch.  Since we didn't let him cry before and I was able to nurse him (so food was immediately given to him), I feel like we are not used to him crying so much while he has to wait for what he wants.  With two little ones, this becomes quite a challenge.  Thankfully, grandparents are here for most of the day to take care of Madison, but it is still not easy.  

I hope that Ripley's fussiness passes soon and that I am given the green light to breastfeed him exclusively again.  He had the opportunity to breastfeed a few times the last couple of days before discharge and he did fine latching.  At home though, we have not been successful.  I don't know if it's because he is in pain or because he has gotten used to the bottle.  I am willing to do what it takes to get him back to breastfeeding because I know that will be beneficial for his immune system.  My husband said that we can formula feed him, but that is expensive and also, I don't want to give up without trying.  

Today was the Superhero Heart Run that we could not make it to.  I was pleasantly surprised and so thankful that TEN families we know participated in support of Ripley.  I didn't actively tell people about the run because I wasn't sure if people would want to be involved.  It's great that so many got together for a fun time, an important cause, and for my sweet son. These are superhero capes for Madi and Ripley from the race brought to us from some of our friends who went.  They all posted fun photos of them in costumes and with different characters (like Storm Troopers).  This was the first time the event was held locally so I hope it was successful enough that it will recur next year and we can be part of it.