Post-op Day 6

We have yet again another day where it was determined that Ripley's chest tubes will not be taken out.  I know it's important to be cautious, but it is getting more difficult to wonder when there will be progress on that end so that we can start breastfeeding comfortably and then go home.  I was very hopeful that we could go home on Tuesday (tomorrow), but that won't be happening.  I estimate that if his chest tubes come out tomorrow, he *might* be able to go home on Thursday.

Ripley is still in the Cardiac intensive care unit, but it is determined that clinically he can go to the transitional care unit, except there are no beds available.  That's okay though because Taira, who I have known since college, is Ripley's nurse today.  The nurses here are so sweet and thorough with their care.  Though I try to spend as much time as possible with Ripley and am never away from him for more than a six hour stretch, I get nervous that I am seen as a bad mom for not being there 24/7.  Since I am not breastfeeding yet and we have space at Ronald McDonald House for now, I have been staying there to get rest...being in the CICU can be tough at night when you are hearing the monitors beeping and evaluations being done.  I worry that if Ripley has a bad night, the nurses will be frustrated and think he is a bad baby.  I have been assured that is not the case, but that doesn't keep me from the anxiety.

One progression today is that he has had the nasal cannula out for several hours and it hasn't been replaced!  Baby steps for my heart baby, I guess.  My theory is that he just likes all the attention from the nurses and wants to stay here.

On my end, a non-profit (United Hairdressers of San Francisco) came today and offered haircuts to parents.  I got a cute little bob and had a wonderful conversation with the founder, Bette Roman.  I shed a lot of tears, but it was cathartic.  She and those she has recruited offer haircuts and other treatments to patients and parents at UCSF.  They also get patients prepared for the annual prom held here. She told me that some bedridden patients haven't had their hair washed in months and she can spend two hours just working out the matted hair.  What a labor of love.  As I have been exposed to more fledgling non-profits, I have been thinking that it may be good for me to learn the process of applying to become a 501(c)(3) so that I can provide the services to groups looking to go non-profit.  I know that is a process that can be daunting for non-lawyers and I'd love to use my background to help others achieve their noble missions.  I think a lot about how to use my life and my career to honor a mission that is bigger than me...I hope I can figure out what that entails soon.

Update: Ripley's IV line in his foot came out so he needed it reinserted and was very upset. I wonder if after all this, getting routine shots will be no big deal!  A bed opened up at CTCU so he is moving this evening.  

Update 2: The reinserted IV line was coming out again when he sweat the dressing off so another IV was put in his other foot, but the needle kinked.  Poor guy will have a third attempt to get an IV in tonight.  When I went to deliver Madison, I also had three IV attempts in my hand, which I remember being about as painful as childbirth.  I can only imagine how painful it is to a baby who can't understand why he is being pricked so much.

Update 3: It was decided that he doesn't need the foot IV line so the third attempt to insert was cancelled.  Today is the fourth anniversary of my friend Janet's passing from leukemia.  Though I was a little impatient today with Ripley's progress, I realize how blessed I am that he is alive and well.